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To the someone who can hear me,
My heart is aching and i am shedding tears while i typed this post. I feel myself so useless. It really feel so terrible to know that the girl that u like is deeply in love with another guy. I dont want to let u know because i am afraid. I am afraid that u might choose to end our friendship. I am afraid that i will lose you. Come on, stay strong. That's what i told myself for the past 5 mins. I went online and wanted to talk to u. But the post on your blog...i chose to appear offline. Sometimes, i rather not knowing the existence of this blog. But, from another perspective, it may be good as i know how u feel towards me. U have been treating me as a friend all along. I know it but i refuse to admit it right from the start.
Why do I have to feel this way every 3 days? When i am starting to talk to u again, i am being forced to ignore u. I will be starting to think of excuses to avoid/talking to u again. WHY??? I cant even understand myself and i doubt anyone will understand me.
I may appear to be very happy from the outside but nobody would ever know the agony and pain deep within my heart. I feel that i have like a double personality. My attitude and behaviour vary totally during the day and during the night.