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I dont know if u know this but i really dont like u to call me buddy. U know that i have always hope that our relationship can be more than that. But as for now, only one word can describe my feeling - DISAPPOINTMENT. No matter how hard i try, i am still unable to replace him in your heart. I dont know what he said to u that makes your opinion towards him changed totally.
I know it's hard to forget someone that u really love. I thought i have completely forgot about her. I had a weird dream a few nights ago. I saw her in an office, trying to tell me that she loves me. Oh my, and i did not reject her...nor accept her. But it's all just a dream that will not occur. We are impossible. I realised that i have not let go of the past totally. When u mentioned her name that day, i turned my face away, not letting u to see the change of expression on my face. I did not want u to think too much. But perhaps, i was the one thinking too much. U might not be bothered by such affairs. U asked me if i am afraid that u might take me for granted. To be honest, i do. Sometimes i may just ignore u and do all those stupid little actions, hoping to attract your attention. I really dont know what to do!!!
There are times when u give me hopes but there are times when u squashed everything away...
U are the one who excites me the most yet also the one who disappoint me the most.
U are the one who brings me happiness yet also the one who brings me misery.
U are the one who i want to care the most yet also the one that i feel like ignoring at times.
U are the one who i live for yet also the one who i regret living
Who exactly are u to me???
I have this strange feeling that we are going to be separated when the time comes for u to go to poly and i am enlisted. Will it happen???