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ARRGHHH...i wish that i cant just ignore everything that i am seeing. I wish that i can just stop thinking about it. I wish i can stop thinking about u. BUT...i cant.
I struggled very long before deciding to send u a message. And yet, i did not receive your reply. Plus, the new post on your blog... I have put a blog tracker in your blog so i know when u have written a new post. I did not meant to intrude your privacy but i was really curious what you will write in the future. Why did u keeping posting stuff about him? Did u purposely write it so that i will know about it? Why cant u post something relating to me? Does he really matter to u so much? Where do i stand? sorry...i will always ask these questions but never to understand their meanings. Meaningless...
I can confirm that you know that i am avoiding u. U want to reduce my pain by not appearing by my side. But it's useless. It's more painful for me when i know u are avoiding me. I really dont know what to do. U miss him badly. Maybe i should just ask jazzy for his number and tell him everything. I wanted to do that when u told me to give u up last month. But i did not do so coz u told me that u were lying. It really hurt me to know that u are upset. I feel super duper useless and i can only pray that one day heaven will give him back to u. I am not being trying to be noble here but i wish that the person that i love will be happy. Since u are unhappy when u are with me, perhaps we should just end our relationship.
I told u that i hope to replace him and to be your man in your heart. Guess i lack the capabilities. I am really disappointed. Everything that i do for you...i was hoping that you will be touched by my sincerity and fall for me one day. I was totally wrong!!! OMG...how come i am so pessimistic? What's happening to me? Am i destined to be a failure?
Pardon me for keeping everything to myself. I really have no wish to let anyone knows about my sorrow except myself. Maybe one day i will. But who knows when that day will arrive...